Election Filing Deadline 2024: “I Told You So” (Again… and AGAIN)

I swear, one day I’m gonna start charging a royalty for every time I say “I told you so.” At this point, it’s practically my brand. I should put it on merch. Stickers. A hat. Maybe some chanclas with I-TOLD-U-SO written across the soles so every step I take leaves the message behind like a political smoke signal.

Because guess what?

I told you so.

Filing deadline hits, and BOOM - suddenly every candidate who swore they were “still thinking about it” or “just praying on it” is now sprinting into Democratic Party Headquarters like it’s the last 10 minutes of the Walmart Black Friday sale. 

And here’s the best part:

All the folks who were desperately hoping no one would file against them… guess what? Someone filed against them.

Now they’re out here acting STUNNED - stunned - that they actually have to, you know… campaign.

Block walking?

Phone banking?

Talking to voters?

Raising money?

Now they’re doing the political equivalent of trying to study an entire semester of anatomy the night before finals. Have fun with that, homies. If you started block walking today and you’re running countywide, you don’t have enough time to knock all the doors. 

You did this to yourselves. Tio Jaime tried to warn you, but you were too busy waiting for nothing to happen.

The Surprise That Wasn’t Really a Surprise: Escobar Gets an Opponent

This one was a little funny.

Not because Congresswoman Escobar got an opponent - that was expected.

But because the opponent is… well, let’s say “adorably inexperienced.”

Arturo Andujo. Young progressive activist. Seems like a nice vato. Probably has a bullet journal. Possibly still has student debt.

He brought petitions — and he brought them on the last day.

Smart move strategically, but bro… 550 signatures? Only 50 more than legally required? That’s not ambitious. That’s barely confident. That’s “I hope nobody sneezes on this paperwork.”

And because he filed early in the day, guess what he gifted Escobar?

Time.

Time for her team to organize, mobilize, and start convincing people to revoke their signatures like, “Hey mijo, remember that thing you signed? Yeah… no.”

Look, if Escobar wanted to, she could probably get every one of those 550 people to sign a petition against signing petitions.

BUT.

And this is important:

She needs to be careful not to punch down.

It’s not a good look to bulldoze the idealistic kid who probably still believes political debates are about ideas.

She could’ve shut the whole thing down with a classy statement like:

“It’s wonderful to see young people engaged in democracy. I welcome the debate.”

But hey. I’m just the guy who says “I told you so.”

Commissioners Court: The Good, the Bad, and the Who-the-Hell-Is-That?

County Judge? No opponent. Cool, good for him.

Commissioner David Stout? Got an opponent, but let’s be real - Stout’s safer than Selena at a tribute concert. The vato is union-backed, battle-tested, and probably has a campaign plan laminated in his glovebox.

Mike Teran filing against him?

Bruh… that’s like deciding to fight the heavyweight champion after eating a heavy lunch and taking a nap. Wrong time, wrong race, wrong strategy. Expensive as hell. Clock’s ticking. Godspeed.

Commissioner Sergio Coronado got Annette Griego - a nurse practitioner. She’s young, Latina, attractive, checks all the voter-pleasing boxes but is basically running because her husband is suing the county. Which is… a choice. But hey, El Paso politics has run on chisme-based candidacies for decades.

But she has zero political or policy experience. But being a Nurse Practitioner and having an attorney for a spouse, there's a better-than-average chance that she's got the ability to self-fund her campaign.

Coronado looked ready, though. He was at HQ like, “Let’s do this. I sharpened my yard signs already.”

District Courts and JPs: The Circus Has Arrived

120th District Court

Lenny Morales jumped in - and he’s respected, known, and not new to the rodeo. Anchondo, meanwhile, has to hit the gas like he stole the car. Lenny has the advantage unless he does something wild like buy Christie Saiz Wicked-sign template.

JP races

Everyone. Is. Running.

JP 1 and JP 5 are now sponsored by the Hunger Games.

JP 6.1 and 6.2 incumbents are chilling because their opponents are recycled like old tortillas turned into chilaquiles.

NE JP race?

Haggerty has a bunch of opponents, including one with quite possibly the ugliest political sign in the history of typography. It looks like the Wicked musical got drunk and threw up neon green.

Ironically Saiz is his biggest threat.

Which… says everything.

County Court 4: The Most Interesting Judicial Race (Relatively Speaking)

Eunice Reyes - young, hungry attorney - takes on Judge Marcos Lizarraga, who has run for more courts than I have typos. State courts have age limits, county courts don’t, and apparently Lizarraga is out here completing the Infinity Gauntlet of judicial positions.

This one might actually be close.

But again… “close” in judicial race terms means like 12 people will talk about it on Facebook.

Cruz vs Perez: The Nicest Race in El Paso

Bernardo Cruz and Robert Perez are both good dudes. Legitimately good. Which is rare around here.

Perez took too long to get in, though, and Cruz already has the momentum. But hey - voters love nice guys. And this race might actually have… gasp… dignity.

That’s weird.

I’m uncomfortable.

And Finally…

More than a few elected officials ended up with no opponents.

Good for them.

Bad for my entertainment value.

Don’t worry - I’ve still got that JP 5 piece coming. And chile, it’s spicy.

But for now?

Let’s just bask in the glow of the candidates who waited until the absolute last damn minute to file, and are now panicking, dehydrated, and Googling “how to run a campaign in under 60 days.”

I told you so.

Again.

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