San Eli’s Hot Mess Express
If you're wondering - a fist fight during a Socorro City Council meeting when Willie Gandara, Sr was the mayor is still first place - but this gave that meeting a run for its money.
Before we even get into the absolute circus of a meeting last night, let’s jump to the headline - the Mayor of San Elizario is about to be formally censured, and council is referring his actions to law enforcement for potential violations of the law.
Which, let’s be real, is mostly ceremonial since an investigation is already happening. But hey - sometimes you gotta send the memo in triplicate for the gente in the cheap seats.
And before the mayor’s paid social-media warriors, keyboard warriors, and Facebook uncles try to rewrite history - it was a UNANIMOUS vote. That means every single member of council basically said, “Yeah, vato, you messed up enough for all of us to actually agree on something.”
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The Meeting: A Full-Color, Dolby Surround-Sound Shit Show
The city council meeting wasn’t just bad — it was the kind of bad you tell your comadre about over coffee the next morning. A true spectacle. Like watching someone try to teach a drunk chicken how to drive a stick shift.
Mayor Miguel Chacon - already under fire - demonstrated a level of incompetence so impressive it deserves its own certificate of completion.
The mayor’s number one job is to run the meeting.
He lost control of the meeting’s biggest problem - himself.
The man couldn’t manage basic decorum, basic order…hell, basic basic. I’ve seen more structured chaos in a toddler’s birthday party at a Peter Piper in Socorro. Normally, someone gets the floor, they speak, you wait your turn. Last night sounded more like Thanksgiving dinner where someone invited all their Trump-loving tios. (Which is fitting, since Chacon voted for Trump. So there’s that.)
I've never seen a display of a more inept mayor in any municipality, and any time, ever.
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Its Public Comment - Not Open Mic Night!
In any normal government setting, public comment is controlled:
Sign up.
Get called.
You get your 2–3 minutes.
No back-and-forth with the electeds.
In San Eli?
Nah. That’s too fancy.
I’ve seen more discipline during kindergarten nap time - at least the kids know when "the Miss" (its an El Paso thing) says “shhh,” you shhh.
People just walked up. Talked whenever. Interrupted whoever. No adults in the room, no rules, no structure.
Robert’s Rules of Order?
Chale.
More like Robert’s Suggestions, If You Feel Like It.
There’s a technical term for a meeting like that: a cluster fuck.
Two of the mayor's stooges made public comment extra stupid and dramatic - only it didn't come off the way they thought it was going to. I think they were both expecting thunderous applause and they just sorta looked cringy. Both of them talk a lot of shit about me - but like everyone else on the internet, when I'm in the room, suddenly the cat has their tongue.
But more on their financial ties to the mayor in another post...
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A Microcosm of Chacon’s “Leadership”
The meeting was everything his administration is: messy, chaotic, unfocused, and embarrassing. But, in that way a trainwreck is entertaining - you don’t want to watch, but you can’t look away.
Chacon is behaving exactly like someone who’s cornered - wild swings, random accusations, conspiracy theories, finger-pointing, blaming anyone who breathes in his direction. He’s admitting to failing basic fiduciary duties and overstepping authority while somehow trying to play victim.
It was honestly sad to watch San Elizario — a community with over 500 years of history, older than the damn pilgrims - reduced to this low-budget, straight-to-DVD drama.
Somewhere, Melquiades Segura is rolling in his grave.
Or laughing. I can't figure out which.
(Quick Mayor Chacón, google him!)
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The City Attorneys… Are Missing
The people who are supposed to keep the ship on course - the city attorneys - didn’t even bother showing up in person. They Zoomed in.
They ZOOMED IN.
Who the hell decides that this meeting - the one involving a major ethics crisis - is the perfect time to save a few bucks on mileage? That’s like calling in sick to work as a lifeguard because the pool “looked too crowded.”
And they didn’t stop him. Not once. Even as he repeatedly violated the Texas Open Meetings Act by discussing things not on the agenda. Mayor Pro Tem Black tried to rein him in, but by that point it was like trying to put out a forest fire with a shot glass.
And let’s talk about the two council members who sat there like decorative plants. Major issues unfolding, chaos everywhere, and they’re quieter than kids in church after their mom gave them the look.
The fact that the city attorneys weren't there in person is a big deal and a big problem. For as much as they charge the City of San Elizario, you'd think there would be some premium legal services there - but it was the legal equivalent of an online curandera.
They go through the motions, but does it really work?
And when the meeting went off the hinges - multiple times - I never once heard the attorneys chime in to try to regain control - or at a minimum - try to stop the mayor from violating the Texas Open Meetings Act.
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The Agenda: Distraction Theater
The mayor very clearly tried distracting everyone from his own wrong-doings by throwing random items on the agenda - ethics codes the city already adopted years ago, vague political smokescreens, the whole nine.
It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t so pathetic. At one point, I bullshit you not - the mayor actually asked his personal attorney, for legal advice - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MEETING!
His attorney hesitated as he was collecting his thoughts on exactly how to respond to his client asking for privileged legal advice in front of half of San Eli! Interestingly his attorney said he was going to attend the meeting to ensure that his client's, Mayor Chacón's, constitutional rights were protected. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what constitutional rights he was referring to.
And then it hit me - his 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination.
And just when I thought we had reached Peak Ridiculous, we took a hard left into…whatever the hell that was.
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The Torta Incident
This part sort of seems like it was supposed to be in Pulp Fiction but was edited out.
The mayor dramatically accused a council member of discriminatory comments and slurs about his sexuality. Mando Alarcón apologized — good start — and then immediately ruined it by trying to “explain.”
Let me tell you something: in politics, if you’re explaining, you’re losing.
And THEN - no mammes - Alarcón says staff told him the mayor allegedly said, “I like to have my torta licked.”
Excuse me?
What in the entire hell does that even mean?
Look, I know what “torta” means in some circles, but THAT definition was new to me. I understood it to be a descriptor of a rather sturdy gal of thick proportions. That meeting took me places I did not want to go - and made me delete my internet history after searching what that meant.
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Bonus Chaos: Disincorporation
As if we hadn’t suffered enough, the mayor tried distracting people with a dramatic discussion about possibly disincorporating the city.
This was his third big, flashy, pointless agenda item of the night - all of which went nowhere.
Four hours of taxpayer-funded chaos for absolutely nothing.
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And Then… The Quote of the Night
Toward the end, exhausted staff sat through the madness like shell-shocked survivors. Then one staff member — frustrated beyond belief — dropped the line of the century:
“I’m way too educated for this bullshit.”
I wrote it down immediately.
Because it was perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
Same, unnamed staffer. Same.
Except I’m not educated - but even I know that was too much bullshit for one night.
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